Just another day at the office
GIL: You wanted to see me, Jack?
JACK: Yes, Gil. Park yourself on a chair, my boy. As you will have read in some of the other newspapers, our company is going through difficult times, financially speaking that is.
GIL: But I thought those were mere allegations, made in utterly bad faith.
JACK: That's true: mere allegations, in utter bad faith. Be that as it may, Gil. The thing is that from now on we are going to be treading on eggs, editorially speaking. We simply cannot afford to put up the backs of anyone influential.
GIL: I understand, Jack. By the way, I was thinking of writing about the problem of dirty sheets on hospital beds.
JACK: Great stuff. The humanitarian problem. From what kind of angle were you thinking of approaching this bed-sheet problem?
GIL: Well, I thought I would suggest that this is a deliberate policy of government, to run down the free state hospitals and put people off, in preparation for the opening of the Hippollo paying clinic.
JACK: Are you mad? I've read in the papers that influential people behind that clinic are amongst those who bai-l people out if their canoe leaks when they are up a creek.
GIL: You're right, Jack. I hadn't thought of that. Perhaps, then, an editorial to denounce the blackmail of the sugar barons over the centralisation and energy issues? This should please ministers.
JACK: Are you off your little head? What if the owners of My Leasure Lake Sugar Estate take umbrage? From what the other papers say, those barons also prop up lame ducks. No, we definitely cannot risk that. Think of something less controversial.
GIL: Alright Jack. I've got it. Everybody seems agreed that there is a major scandal behind the allocation of medical scholarships to an Indian University. I'll write about that and pontificate on vague concepts like transparency and meritocracy. This should not cause any controversy.
JACK: For heavens sake, Gil. And what if the PM blows his top and asks the Government Private Bank to squeeze us? What then? We're dead, that's what.
GIL: If that's the case, Jack, I might as well write only about hypothetical and abstract things that nobody will even read. That should not cause any problem.
JACK: Thank you, Gil, I knew I could count on you in these difficult times.